Girlfriend
We were living together, but she wanted to live with her sister instead. It has the power to get your ex showing — Smile with your eyes more than your mouth A calm, composed and confident smile read: sexy and masculine smile comes from having a closed mouth, smiling eyes and raised cheekbones. Or, she may have seemed supportive during the relationship, but broke up with you by sliding out the back door and never showing her face again.
They may also start to ponder why you are so calm and may start calling you instead. Because you are following the path you think you should follow in life, you need to focus on that and live with no regrets. I am also a researcher and a scientist. The word ex should be used with the immediate past incumbent.
Girlfriend
I am going to be attempting to explain everything I know about how men react to the no contact rule. In the end, I subscribe to the theory that in order for me to best help you get your ex boyfriend back you need to see the entire picture and that is what I am doing here with this guide, helping you see the parts of the picture you are missing. Your Failure Of The No Contact Rule Every single day I carve out an what is ex girlfriend or two to answer comments and questions from the readers of this site. The no contact rule can be an extremely hard thing to complete. After all, I am asking you to essentially cut your ex boyfriend off for a full month. I mean, if I told you that you would get a 100% success recovery rate if all you had to do was make it through 30 days without contacting your ex there would still be some women who would fail at not contacting their ex. Are you seeing the analogy yet. Whenever I write one of these guides I tend to do a lot of outlining and research. A simple viewing of the comments should give you a pretty clear picture. While I admit there are many constants in the concerns above the correct answer I am looking for lies in a simple truth. Any woman who implements a no contact rule is uncertain about what is going on in her exes mind. Men, much more physical, tend to lack when it comes to social situations. Women, much more social, tend to lack when it comes to physical situations. This is an interesting view to take when you look at our species as a whole. It explains why men need women and women need men. However, it also explains why we get our wires crossed so often. I understand why most of my peers do the things they do. Every single one I want to give you access to so you can better understand us. To be more specific, I am going to be talking about how a man can possibly react and what he will think when a woman implements a no contact rule on him. The first thing I need to teach you has to do with the differences in men. Men Are Different From Women Above I established that men and women are different creatures. Well, I would like to take that a step further and say that not all men are the same. For example, what I find attractive in a woman another man may not. One of my best friends springs to mind here. As two young single guys we often talk about one topic, women. After his rant I chimed in and explained the type of woman I liked. In the end, we agreed to disagree but I think this little anecdote proves an interesting point. What may be true for a lot of men may not be true for your man. When it comes to the no contact rule I have found that there are 7 main reactions and thoughts that men will have. Each reaction is different from the other in its own unique way. Whatever Reaction You Get Depends On Your Relationship Above I established that each man is different in his own unique way. I want you to think back to your old relationship. Now, obviously your old relationship failed for some reason. Right now we are going to be looking at something far more valuable. Something I like to call the aftertaste effect. What Is The Aftertaste Effect. When I began writing I had a list that I put together designed to detail all of the best strategies that I found that worked to get an ex back so that I could put it in the book. The aftertaste effect was one of those strategies. Whenever you eat a candy you are left with a certain aftertaste. It is that aftertaste that compels you to come back and keep eating that candy. For some reason every time I eat one I end up eating two or three more. Of course, candy is not good for you. Everyone knows that at a basic level and yet it is the aftertaste that compels us all to keep eating them. Now, I want to ask you a question. I mean, here you are reading this far down the page because you are hungry for another relationship with your ex. But I really want you to think hard and try to put yourself in your exes shoes. What kind of taste do you think he was left with. Good or bad, whatever his aftertaste is will cause him to react a certain way to the no contact rule. How did I come by this data you wonder. The first is relatively simple, I. The second is actually through our private Facebook Group that we have for women going through breakups. Right now the only way to gain access to this private resource is by first reading. But I am getting way off topic. In this section I am going to outline each of the ways and give an in-depth explanation for what is going on in his head during the reaction. Now, while you are reading about each reaction I want you to keep in mind that I will be referencing the aftertaste effect a lot. So, make sure you have a grasp of it before you read on. Lets stop talking what is ex girlfriend start listing. You and I are going to play roles in each of these seven reactions. You are going to play my ex girlfriend who is using a 30 day no contact rule on me. Of course, I am going to be playing your ex boyfriend and plan to give you insight on each of my reactions. The Frantic Caller This is an amusing reaction from a man. I remember when I first created this site I really thought that women who implemented the no contact rule would see this particular reaction from men but the truth is that not as many men have this reaction as I thought. He will eventually get the hint and stop calling. However, deep in his mind he will always want to hear from you. Now, lets hit the pause button and talk about this. Personally, the more I care about someone the more I care about getting a response to a text message. I am going to care about getting a response. In a way, I am testing you to see if you will engage with me. Basically, the more you ignore me the more likely I am to show you attention. However, the more you send attention my way the less likely I am to give you that attention back. Usually, after a certain amount of texts are un-responded to I will start calling you frantically. While it may take a while I will finally get the hint and stop calling which will lead me to ignore you completely. This is where I want to hit the pause button again. What is going on in my head during this time. Firstly, lets look at the facts. That fact alone means that I still have interest in you, that I still care about you. Deep down I am just insecure about being alone and I want to hear from you badly. I have actually experienced this phenomenon myself before. I like to call this the fake reality phenomenon. The Fake Reality Phenomenon During my first breakup ever I experienced something very strange. I am the type of guy that can sometimes wear my heart on my sleeve. It can be my biggest advantage but also my biggest downfall. During my first breakup it was definitely my biggest downfall. This particular breakup stands out in my mind because of how nasty it was. In fact, I remember the very what is ex girlfriend day of the breakup I convinced myself that life was better and for a while it was. I had this feeling of being free but eventually the breakup caught up with me and I had to create this fake reality for myself where I did my best to put on this facade that I was great when deep down all I wanted was to talk to my ex. This is essentially what the fake reality phenomenon is. The Frantic Caller Turned Into Ignorer This reaction is very similar to the one above. Before I really dive in here let me give you a brief explanation of what this actually is. A perfect example of this is who actually did get her ex back and was kind enough to come onto my podcast what is ex girlfriend do a podcast episode detailing her experience with no contact starting at 4:35, This can be a pretty depressing reaction to get. Just like before, you are going to implement the no contact rule on me and just like before I am going to become a text gnat by sending you a lot of different text messages and phone calls. Here is where the main difference will come into play, instead of me ignoring you but wanting to hear from you I am going to be ignoring you out of anger. Let me dive a little deeper into the male thinking here. Above I talked about how the more I care about a person emotionally the more I care about a text message response. This is an important nugget of knowledge to grasp for this reaction because it really goes down to the core of why an ex may potentially ignore you out of spite. Look, no one likes to be flat out ignored. That fact alone is why the no contact rule is such an effective method. These are the types of men that will take you ignoring them very personally. Anyone who frantically calls you definitely has an interest in you or at least wants to know what you think. So, while they may take your ignoring personally you have to wonder if deep down beyond that anger they still really want to hear from you. I am a glass half full kind of guy so I choose to look at it like this: men who take being ignored personally will want to get back at you. Remember when I was telling what is ex girlfriend that story about my very first breakup being really bad. Unfortunately, it is a common problem. But how does that problem manifest itself in no contact. The Stubborn Guy- This is a reaction that a certain man will have during the no contact period. I have a feeling that a lot of women are going to be interested in this. I want to explore this so you can truly understand what your ex is thinking. First though, lets get our two favorite actors to act this scenario out. As always, you are going to initiate the no contact rule. However, this time I am not going to contact you. In other words, what we have here is a no contact rule stand off. What is ex girlfriend, this is what is ex girlfriend what you want to have happen but the fact of the matter is that some men will react this what is ex girlfriend to the no contact rule. There are a complex range of emotions that go on here so I am going to be dividing this overall category into multiple sections. First, I would like to start with one of our favorite terms, the aftertaste effect. The Aftertaste Effect What is stubbornness. Perhaps more to the point, what is the definition of a stubborn person. Stubborn Person- Someone who refuses to change their mind about something. It just means you have to know how to deal with them. Lets turn our attention back to the aftertaste effect. This is where your discipline comes in with the no contact rule. I think stubborn men as a whole adopt two specific mindsets when they are put in the no contact rule. I want to use this section to describe the first mindset. There is a certain allure to being the victim. You get sympathy from everyone if you are a victim. This is especially true when it comes to relationships. When I read the comments and inquiries I get from readers every day I feel bad for some of the women I communicate with. How does this apply to stubborn men you ask. Stubborn men during no contact want to be adored by their exes. Every time I talk to a woman that I am dating or a woman I am interested in I look at every single interaction as a power struggle. This is especially true when it comes to who texts who first and who calls who first. I think it is just a guy thing. Anyways, having an ex call you first, if you are a stubborn guy, is like winning a game. That is because the clueless guy reaction is what is ex girlfriend. So, what is a clueless guy reaction. The Clueless Guy- A legitimate reaction where your ex is entirely clueless throughout the no contact rule. I understand that you may be a little confused at how this reaction will play out in real life. So, as always, lets let our two professional actors act this situation out. You are going to start the no contact rule on me. Of course, I am clueless about the whole situation so I may contact you or I may not. It will depend on a number of factors. Part of the reason the no contact rule works so well is the fact that the party it is being done to will sense that something is wrong. This feeling that they get will create a range of emotions and eventually sometimes subconsciously show them how much their ex significant other really means to them. Before we can answer that we need to study the psychology behind someone with a clueless reaction. You what is ex girlfriend, one thing I have learned about women throughout my life is they tend to drop these little hints when you talk to them. These hints are a way of testing you to see where you stand on a certain issue. How you react to the hint will what is ex girlfriend how they approach the situation in the future. A clueless guy is the type of guy who will not pick up any hints at all. He is too clueless or wrapped up in his own world to. Here is where what is ex girlfriend get interesting though. So, there are aspects of being frantic and stubborn in there but as a whole he will not get any of the hints you drop. He will just assume everything is ok. Again, I would like to reiterate that this type of guy is very rare. Will The No Contact Still Work. A few sections ago I asked a simple question. The biggest misconception is that the no contact rule is only for your ex boyfriend. In fact, I would say that, that is only half the battle. Hmm… how can I best explain this. Ok, getting an ex boyfriend back requires an interesting balance. You have to be hyper aware of your emotions. You need to know when you have to be logical and you need to know when you have to be emotional. If you can find the perfect combination between the two remaining logical while using your emotions to tap into your exes emotions you have a really good chance to get your ex boyfriend back. Post-breakup is when you what is ex girlfriend at your emotional peak and while emotions can be good sometimes in this case you are probably too emotional to talk to your ex. That is why the no contact rule is such a beautiful thing. The Scared Guy Have you ever wondered if your ex is too scared to talk to you. In this section we are going to be covering the range of emotions that will be going through an exes head who feels too scared to even make a move. He is ignoring you out of fear. Lets not beat around the bush here, women are scary. I am not afraid to admit it either. Still, to this day, I what is ex girlfriend the shakes when I am talking to a beautiful woman. I am more afraid of what she is thinking about me. Here is the ironic part about the whole thing. I bet that the girl that I am talking to is getting the shakes because she is afraid of what I think about her. It may be entirely possible that he is too scared to reach out for fear of messing up. Are you starting to understand no contact now. Dealing with exes during it is almost like a game. The game is all about power and usually the person with the power is in the best position. The Mid Caller This is a reaction from exes that I see a lot when I communicate with women on this site. I really want to do a good job explaining this so I am just going to cut right to the chase. Instead of frantically calling at the beginning of the no contact rule an ex who has this reaction will call just a few times during the middle of the no contact rule. As always, we are going to let our two favorite actors act out this scene for us so we have a better grasp of how this is all going to go down. You are going to start the scene by implementing the no contact rule on me. However, midway through the duel I am going to lose my nerve and reach out to you. Lets hit the pause button and explore this for a minute. In my mind there are two possible explanations for why an ex boyfriend will call you a few days in 5-8 days or midway through a no contact rule 14-18 days. Your ex is clueless about the whole situation and has no idea that you are doing a no contact rule on him. As a result, he will reach out in the middle of the no contact period. Of course, when you ignore the text he sends he is going to figure out really quickly that something is up. Once he figures this out just sit back and watch the craziness ensue. Chances are, if you are doing the no contact rule immediately after a breakup your ex boyfriend is going to be thinking about you a lot. As a result of that stubbornness he will engage with you in a no contact duel. Firstly, he is thinking about you a lot which we can assume means that he still has some deep emotional feelings for you. The Angry Guy Lets face the facts here. Lets take a moment and define it. The Angry Guy- The type of reaction you can get when your ex wants nothing to do with you and means it. The angry guy reaction is really the reaction that is going to tie into the aftertaste effect the most out of any reaction listed throughout this guide. Lets say that during our fake relationship you were not exactly a good girlfriend. You cheated on me or did something that really upset me. If I broke up with you under those pretenses then the chances are high that I left the relationship with a really bad taste in my mouth. If that was the case, then I probably will not want to contact you during the no contact period. Except there is something different about the angry guy reaction as opposed to the stubborn guy reaction. The angry guy reaction is a step above that. It is when an ex boyfriend is so angry that he wants nothing to do with you. Typically, the tell tale sign of an angry guy reaction is when your ex says some very hurtful things to your face repeatedly. So, I suppose the real question here is, is it possible to get someone back if they exhibit this reaction. In fact, one of my best friends did it. It is going to take a lot of patience on your part and even then there are no guarantees. In the end, what it all boils down to is if you think your ex is worth it. Hi Chris, My bf and I have been together for 2. In the beginning we had a great relationship however, overtime we grew apart for many reasons. He developed a drinking problem but really wanted to change to still be in this relationship and has been sober for a year. During his recovery I was diagnosed with a chronic disease where I was basically housebound for 9 months. I had to move 12 hrs away from him to get support from my family. The distance, lack of what is ex girlfriend and my anger drive us apart. He broke up with me because I made him so angry. I had been having thoughts of breaking up with him earlier but he was the first to break up with me. I do still really love him and feel bad for how things turned out, I begged him to stay because I already felt so alone with my health problem. After our break up the next day I flew to his home town to apologize for my actions and hope he would change his mind. He said maybe one day we can try again but said I need to learn how to cope better with my condition and work on myself. Hi, this is a bit crazy but I dated a guy for around 6 months. We met and dated over the summer, when I had much more time, and was happier and less stressed, and had an amazing time getting to know each other. He told me he liked me enough to try, despite the fact that being with someone with such a chaotic schedule was out of his comfort zone. My ex was also busy with work and projects but was actually hurt a lot but how little time I seemed to have for him. He tried to institute standing date nights, or hint at spending more time together, but gave up towards the end, especially as I was in finals. The last couple weeks were especially awful for him since we were seeing each other around once or twice a week. I sent him a few messages after we broke up and he said he would respond to them when he had free time, but never did. I tried calling but he ignored the call. To me, this relationship is worth salvaging because besides the time issue, we were so great together. Its been a really emotional break up. You are the most amazing thing that happened to me. Perhaps in the near future, they will become more important to him. During those time, there were no single day that we never talk to each other despite of huge gap in time differences. It was way beyond more happiness and felt that the distance has been all worth it. Long story short, that happiness made me very greedy, jealous and very toxic girlfriend. He then broke up with me 7 months ago but he insisted that we should stay in contact and I agreed. I was tearful, depressed and begged him which just made him pull away further more. On my birthday, he still showered me with surprise gift. A week after that, he messaged me that he wants to let me know that he will be starting dating someone. I was shocked but I accepted it and kept my distance. I was confused but I also want to give him his happiness even if that means getting myself out of his life. A lot of times, he will initiate contact and we always make a tons of funny conversation. I thought that if I will only message him in response to his message that it will be okay, but I was totally wrong. A week later, I saw a picture of him and his new girl. I ran out of words to say and I was glad to found out about your website. At first, I was just extremely wounded just seeing my ex with someone else. I lost appetite and I literally can eat that much. But despite that, I understand that I also have other responsibilities in life, that I have to keep moving forward despite the pain. I only give myself a chance to grieve at night or on my days off. I allow my self to cry in pain. And I plan to continue doing this for 30 days. My mind is still hoping that we can still meet up, go somewhere and laugh together just like the old times. But at the same time, I keep telling myself that I should take this 30 day detox to heal instead of getting excited of something that is somehow superficial. I need to meet him without any hatred and pain. My question is, am I overthinking about this. I feel that Im distancing myself too much that makes the recovery way harder than what it should be. I really want to accept the reality, move on and heal properly so in the future, I will be more matured in facing my insecurities and fears. You will heal because you are a gem of a person and good things happen more often for good people like yourself. We were never in a relationship, just dating. And I just wanted him as a friend. And after we split I acted very immaturely, like texting him 3 times a day to ask if we can come back. I waited for 2 weeks and contacted him again with an apology email, still silence. And I tried to talk to him every two weeks but I guess he just ghosted me. And I think your opinions is more insightful than others so I make a comment after browsing. Or I just stay silent for a while. Hi, thank you so much for this in the first place. I was in a situationship for 4 months. He likes me but not enough to get in a relationship with me. I was the one that would always take the lead on things, invitations, texts, etc… For him one day or two a week was enough to be together, I wanted more. He says I deserve better, that I deserve a man that wants to be with me as much I want to be with him. Two weeks ago he was really rude to me on the phone and I was so angry at him that I blocked him. He turned out to be one of my best friends, same work, same gym, same hanging out colleagues. Am I doing the right thing here. Sorry for the little outburst and thanking you in advance. So you need to start off with a plan. A plan for your own healing and recovery so you realize you can stand on your own if need by without him in your life. But it seems that the two of your are not too far apart. So perhaps a little space will do you both good and will result in him valuing you more. There are things you can do to enhance that. I understood that he was having a hard Time. I Recently i had a miscarriage. The day i was going to tell him i miscarried. So i waited for days that their mother got the kids. How long is this going to take for him to realize what he had and reach out. Does he even want to be with me. I had no othere option but to taxi home. I received a text message from what is ex girlfriend the next morning asking if I wanted a lift back into town. I expect to pick up like nothing had happened. There is an element of jealousy, control and emotional abuse, not necessarily obvious at this stage. Not sure what the outcome will be. In the past he is in contact most days. Hi chris: I happened to just stopped by reading your post and its an amazing article. I actually had a guy friend of mine whom I met on tinder and told my friend about it. So we been seeing each other for roughly like 6 months. We held hands, hugged, cuddled and kiss on the cheeks, chemistry was good. But recently he was deployed by company to overseas for work and its gonna be 1yr away. Should I continue texting him even though he does not text back or call. He seems a bit full of himself. Or maybe its just partially big talk. Usually its not wise to make definitive statements on the topic of coming back to a relationship. Better to employ no contact in the way I teach it. Im in a situationship what is ex girlfriend a guy for more than two years now. We had our ups and downs and this year, we fought quite a lot. Last weekend, he was drunk, I checked his phone and saw his messages with several women. I got mad and call him out on it. The next day, he saw my bruises and cried and begged that I forgive him. I said theres nothing I should forgive him for. He hugged me so tight and said he does not want to lose me. After I left his place, he sent me a lenghty message, again asking for forgiveness and apologising for all the hurt he has caused me. He said he will try to heal his heart bad break up from ex gf for 4 years now and if one day he can recreate his love life, he would want me to be the girl he wants to be with. I responded to him about us having to think things through. He said he respects my need for time and space and will always appreciate the company and love I have for him. My questions are, is it still worth to continue with him. I am in no contact with him for three days now, is two weeks enough, how should I move on if he does not reach out. I care for him and I know he cares about me to. I am thinking that his involvement with other girls are is only a part of his healing process to what is ex girlfriend his pain and insecurities. I was with my bf for almost 7 years. It turned out that he tried to avoid me because he felt guilty He interested in someone else at his workplace whom I think is quite similar to me. Hi Chris, Here goes… my boyfriend of almost a year broke up with me a couple of days ago. I was there for him when his father died, everyday. He became distant after the death of his father, which in turn made me worried and clingy. I asked him if he doesnt want to give us a chance because of that promise and he said yes. He panics every time i say i wil leave I left him. I felt something was off so I mentioned it to him. That seeemed to open up a can of warms. I think convinced him other wise for a few days and we got back together. Tuesday we were suppose to go out for our 6 months and then the actual break up happened. He took his stuff and I gave him and out- he took it. With hesitation he finally left.
How does this apply to stubborn men you ask? Personally, the more I care about someone the more I care about getting a response to a text message. I got this feeling that she probably asked the new guy what he thought about this. If you stay strong with no contact, the odds are in your favor that your ex will reach out in time. My Taurus sense told me that something was not right, just a gut feeling. There are some cases of exes developing an even closer friendship post breaking up after the awkward phase has passed. Every time something would happen and we would break up and then after a while I would make the move again and we would end up being together however this time around it has been different.
